Letting go of what is, to become what may
In the early days of embarking on a career in art I was focused on accuracy, form, perspective. On observing what is and based my success on the most accurate depiction of that. In art class we had a portrait project and I drew an image of Cindy Crawford from a magazine (though I had no idea who she was). 20 hours with a mechanical pencil and I was done. The reaction and recognition by my peers was a memorable moment for a shy teen.
In the years that followed I continued down a path of often craving recognition. I learned that realism was easy to understand and get approval by. It was only in the bravest of moments that I slowly dared to explore the abyss beyond.
I recall my creative writing professor once said ‘now that you know all the rules, you will learn how to break them.’ Looking at the early work of Matisse, Kandinsky and Richter I am certain that they all must have had that revelation at some point.
For years I worked on getting my work to be precise.
Now I’m working on breaking free.
One of the first in a new underwater series in which I aim to capture the essence of the moment.
The art I find most meaningful is the work that transforms me to a different place, time, state of mind. Work that makes me gasp. I read that Estée Lauder put art in categories of ‘Oh my’ and ‘Oh my God’. And it is those “Oh my God” work that I want more of in my life. Those artworks that stop me dead in my tracks. The ones that moves something within, that makes me feel more alive. I no longer wish to spend time with artwork, as exceptionally talented as the artist may be, that competes with the camera with no apparent reason to do so. Technology set us as artists free to explore beyond and I am eternally grateful.
Although in my mind I have a vision of which cliff I want to leap from, reality is not that easy. Warning, moment of honesty; when I feel insecure I leap back to the known. I turn back to where I feel safe and sometimes overwork my paintings in order to get that easy approval. I crave ease, spontaneity & looseness. Being impulsive, wild and running with it. I crave courage. I’m not sure I will ever get to the work my lecturer, Gordon Reavley described as ‘difficult’. But I’m feeling optimistic. Very optimistic.
In the last few weeks in both my abstract and figurative work I’ve been able to let go a little more. Able to step away sooner and produce work that makes me feel uneasy. And that, my dear reader, is where I think growth lies.
“Audacity, not talent, distinguish successful artists from shadow artists” - Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way.